Well… I am finally writing for myself, or I am just trying to convince myself that I can be educated!
I sometimes feel that I am leading my life on few basic instincts, I watch things, I feel things, I listen to things etc. It never appeals me to read, write or speak until and unless it’s required or pulled out of me from an external source of energy. I don’t remember when the last time I read a page for myself or written something for self. Just knowing how to read, write and speak sounds literate enough but way far off from being educated. Being educated signifies once genuine interest to read, write or speak. I guess that’s what the mother of innovation and creativity is, that’s what differentiates the human race, that’s what makes you feel filled and satisfied, it helps to understand the world and creates a favorable surrounding for joyful existence.
I often wonder how I kill my time if I am not doing anything for myself. It’s enough to spend 8hrs (33%) a day to struggle for existence, to earn a living, then what next? I can just recall myself lost into past or future looking for solutions to the problem which never existed or will never exist. I spend time guesstimating what’s happening in outside world though the facts are available but I have no interest to look out or to verify my guesstimates. I make lot of assumptions and come up with my own theories to understand the news I hear from this world. I define things in my comfort zone. I spend time acting as a hero in my own fiction being directed and played in my own brain, the word of dreams!
I am very good with numbers but worse when it comes to prioritizing the tasks I need to finish in a given time period. It may be due to my indecisive nature or maybe I don’t have a right orientation for practical approach to life. I do make a logical or physical list of actions to be done and I also set the priorities for the same. When it comes to doing what I observe is I finish all the tasks related to external world but when it comes to tasks I need to do for self I tend to delay in action or postpone the items or in the worst case will hide myself away from the case giving false explanations. I have spent half of my life while just getting literate. I was never interested in getting educated but the system has imposed this on me. I have always taken books as are only required to clear exams. I keep most of my books very safe and secured. I have preserved the books but lost the knowledge as it expires if not renewed periodically. Today I am literate by choice but educated by force. Though I enjoy problem solving and analyzing complex scenarios, it gives be nuts and bolts if I get to work on 2 things in parallel. I play very defensive when it comes to delivering an output. I do lot of planning and spend some time to note down point’s for which I need to revisit my deliverable. It never appeals me to actually revisit my own alerts once I am done with my output.
Now I have written something for myself today and it feels good to read it. I know what I need to do to fix it. Somebody has said when nothing is working for you just get up and start walking. Today as I write this page with 600 odd words I literally feel as if I am walking and getting some fresh air to boost my energy levels. I knew I am not educated, I also knew Why I am not? But now I believe I have done something today and taken a step ahead to start my education in real sense.
If you start today, it’s never late. If you plan to start tomorrow, it’s never comes!
Saturday, October 11, 2008
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2 comments:
Better late than never!! So nice that you started finally and keep this spirit intact. By the way the thought behind the article was excellent. Looking forward to more from you.
Thanks buddy for the inspiration!
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