What is Friendship…?

Better known as Dosti, yari, dostana, yarana and what not! People portray as true friends, best friends, underwear friends, childhood friends, chat friends, phone friends, Orkut friends, Facebook friends, Office friends, School friends, hometown friends, professional friends, family friends, Girlfriend ke friends, Boyfriend ke friends, friends of friend and bla bla bla!

Since my childhood I have been hearing this – A friend in need a friend indeed. We make friends unknowingly, some people are very choosey when it comes to be friends, and some people are friends to everyone as if they have to assume all philanthropy in this world. No matter how long the list you have, you will be talking to a very few regularly. You spend more time with some friends and on the contrary you avoid people at any cost though you proudly identify them as good friends in public.

Let me take this opportunity to understand the concept better, though I have referred to multiple dictionaries and I conclude that there is something a book can’t teach you but you have to define your own meanings based on your personal experiences. So here I am with lot of unorganized and abstract thoughts on Friendship.

What is a Friend? Or rather who is a friend? The first person you want to meet on a Friday evening!!! Friend = Fri + End = Friday + End = Fri + Day + End. If I take out the day from Friday, what remains is the Friday evening. So the first name that comes to your mind while packing your bags to call it a week on Friday evening is definitely a friend. I can bet on this with 3 sigma accuracy!

Who else is a friend? I guess somebody who takes a step off the track towards you from their regular course; somebody who has time for you even though life is running short; somebody who can wait for you; somebody who makes you feel safe and secure; somebody whose presence makes a difference! There is no limit to list the qualities of a friend.

Then who is not a friend? The question was difficult to me to answer and I have thought over it hundreds of time till I got exhausted. Rather it is easy to answer, to whom I am not friends with? Yes and all those people to whom I am not friends with are definitely not my friends as the very principal of friendship is based on mutual satisfaction. It’s easy now to figure out to whom you are not friends with (by just answering the questions … Who else is Friend?). But still the list is not complete. There can be people whom you are friends with but they still might not! How to define that set? Again try to answer the questions … who else is friend? It completes the list.

There are some relationships that go Beyond Friendship. I use to believe this but no more. Friendship is the most basic kind of relation and demands nothing. If I go for a beyond friendship relation with someone, it brings in more expectations, constraints and demands. So the beyond friendship kind of relation is actually below friendship. I don’t deny the kind of attachment, care, responsibility it brings in. But still if you examine broadly these are actually constraints. So Friendship is a bigger ship while Love is a lifeboat! If I decide to get on to a lifeboat, I may be heading far from my bigger ship. I should take an informed decision before getting on to a lifeboat, as the lifeboat has tendency to go away from the ship. Lifeboat demands your attention to drive it, it’s a call one needs to take as per ones priorities!

Why do I need friends? Well If I am on life boat I will not care for the ship! You cannot be on lifeboat forever, something or the other will bring you back to the ship. If you are lucky you may get to choose to keep the lifeboat on the ship or in the worst case you are forced to choose one! You can venture out in ocean for a ride on the lifeboat but the chances to cross an ocean on lifeboat are zero. Still it feels good to drive away from the ship cutting the blue water under the blue sky!

In the ocean you got to get back to the ship. But why at all board the ship? Why I need friends? I don’t have an answer but let me try to understand to whatever extent I can. We are evolved from animals. In principal if I have to differentiate animal from humans I will say animals can’t control their temptation and desires whereas humans being social and cultural tend to control things in public. But how long they can control? Not forever! The animal instincts that we have can’t be resisted and will come out sometime or the other. They just look for the right environment. My society will never provide me that environment. I need to lookout from my shell. That’s where I see a need to board the ship!